"What do you want to be?"

For as long as I can remember, my biggest fear is answering this direct, absolute question. The blaring reality in my life is that I wander, am constantly restless, change on a whim and feel uncertain where I’ll land when X marks the “what you are” spot. My spontaneous series of relocations, three times re-entering college and enduring six years at UNH (both Durham and Manchester) has only mounted the pressure.
I don’t understand the people that are born passionate about one thing - like they always knew what they were. To me, this is not logical. How do you emerge from the womb a teacher or a doctor? I emerged a great many things. Maybe, their nurture feeds their direction. For as long as the ambiguous question has been posed to me, I have been directionless.
I firmly believe I am very fortunate for not having such a narrow path. From moving, going in and out of school and enduring the harsh realities of supporting myself, I have gained more knowledge and understanding of life than any cap and gown could signify. These life experiences made me the individual I am today and will bring me strongly to my future.
Humility and humanity are built on life experiences of embarrassment, pain and fighting. The strength and struggle of people can only be understood through open, empathetic eyes . To view people with respect and dignity despite their educational or socio-economic level is what has brought me to where I am today. My lack of direction taught more than anything else in life - who I want to be and who I will never be.
I don’t want to be ignorant, cruel or judgmental. I don’t want to demean anyone. I want to applaud the janitor, the factory worker, the dishwasher, the unappreciated.
I don’t want to be fearful or silenced. I don’t want to be taken too seriously. I want to be heard.
I want to make people laugh at themselves, each other and life. I want my presence to be lively, fun and confident. I want to enlighten and make people question, discover and re-evaluate. I want to never lose touch with the lessons I learned.
I love people, talking, informing and entertaining.
In short, it’s taken me a while to answer the only question that leaves me speechless. I want to be a broadcaster or somewhere within that communication realm. I want my career to be adventurous, exciting and fun.